Tuesday, January 21, 2014

Social Adversity of an Allergic Asthmatic

Yesterday, my husband declared, “we’re going grocery shopping when I get home from work!”  The announcement felt like a threat.  What now, am I afraid to leave the house?  I am.  And I am definitely afraid to go grocery shopping.  In the end, I decided to forgo all dangers and waited in the car while my husband went shopping.

I am not brave enough to step outside my safety bubble.  If I am not careful, I keep getting exposed to dogs!  People bring their pets everywhere these days, especially grocery stores. Growing up I remember businesses had a place to leash up your pet with bowls of fresh water.  I suppose nowadays my husband can leash me up out front.

On a happier note, I can report I’ve been outside my apartment on occasion and I have interacted with people face to face other than my husband.  On the other hand, I planned these outing well in advance and I calculated all potential environmental risks.  So, no, I haven't really been part of life and I have been hiding.  The good news is though that I have been healthy and non-medicated since last year—that is almost three weeks and I am thrilled about it!
But I am also scared!

I don’t want to be sick again!  I want to avoid allergic reactions so that my body can recover from its chronic inflammatory state.  I also fear the pain and helplessness of not breathing.  Now that I feel well, I can’t bare the thought of experiences so much pain and worrying about suffocation.  I don’t want exposure to potential health hazards.  But, I also want to be part of life again.  Oh my!
So, it’s baby steps for me.

Keep moving forward,
♡ Nina

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