Social Adversity of an Allergic Asthmatic #2

As I was writing my last post about asthma,  I kept wondering how an asthmatic who's determined to swear off asthma medication is going to deal with potential health setbacks.  It made the idea seem even more unreasonable.  Is there going to be an open discussion about the ups and downs of one's health, or are we going to applaud health and shamefully hide noticeable symptoms of asthma.



I didn't think the topic offered much to talk about until my last asthma attack (thankfully, the only one in February) and the events leading up to it seemed to ludicrous to relate.  In short, I didn’t think I could talk about it.  In hindsight, it’s really disconcerting that I considered suffering quietly because what happened was too crazy to tell anyone.  You might ask how I got myself into this state.  I got cornered by a dog—not on my walk (something I'm always afraid of)—but in a bar type establishment toward the end of a night out.  And it wasn't just any dog, but a large Rottweiler, who to my surprise, was roaming freely inside the building.  I first noticed the animal when it came into the room and made a beeline towards me.  As it approached, I climbed onto my chair and then onto the wobbly dining table. 
I was wondering if I should I scream for help. 
Will the dog jump at me and bite if I do?

Luckily, at this point the waitress come down the stairs and into the room and raised her eyes when she spotted me standing on the table.  The dog leisurely walked off and urinated on the top of the staircase in front of me and the waitress.  Yes, you read this correctly.  This story involves animals urinating in public places.  I was not only scared to have an asthma attack, but I was horrified and I am still speechless about the fact the animal peed inside the building and the urine ran down the stairs and dripped from the ceiling into the poolroom below.  This is so disgusting!

Of course, I suffered a massive asthma attack that night as a consequence and I felt shitty for days, but still, the whole story sounded just crazy.  And what an irony it is, that something this unusual and disgusting happened to the person who's allergic to dogs.  I am not reckless and I don't stumble un-informed through life.  I know there are many, many places that are simply off-limits for me because there will be dogs.  I have to take great care in planning my outings.  On this particular night, I made a big deal about not wanting to visit any grubby dive bar and everybody agreed on this location to accommodate me. 

If anyone from Salt Lake City is reading this and wonders what bar I’m talking about—it's the Beer Hive.  From the way the situation was handled, I am assuming the dog belongs to the owner or one of the waitresses and they think it’s no big deal to have a loose animal in a place that serves food and drinks.

I know making a choice to speak against allowing dogs in public places isn't a popular topic for discussion, and I certainly don't expect many others to share it.  On the other hand, there are health codes in place that prohibit pets (with the exception of service animals) in restaurants, bars and grocery stores.  Why is it then, when it comes to dogs, that some people bypass the law and decency and do things just because they can, even if it creates problems for others.

Unfortunately, this issue really effects my health and makes it impossible to calculate potential dangers.  I can never tell if I might encounter a dog in my day even if I've researched and confirmed the pet policy of a location in advance.  So, partly because of it, even though my blog chronicles the efforts I make to manage my asthma, I know I'm going to get sick sometimes.  There will be times, in which I will be affected by symptoms of asthma and there will be times in which I will be struck down by a full blown asthma attack.  I can't predict my health or any health setbacks I might have, but I commit to being upfront about it.  I am sure, with time, I can joke and laugh about incidents like this one and for now, there is no reason to keep being sick a secret.

Right this moment, it is difficult to envision myself being actively effected by my asthma because I am feeling well.  On the other hand, I am very much afraid of being unwell and living through so much pain again.  With asthma, it’s the absolute fear of not being able to breathe, of loosing control, and ultimately, of dying.  Of course it’s terrifying!  Even though I fear I can't handle yet another asthma attack and I try so hard to guard myself against dangers and I carry emergency medication, the next asthma attack might only be minutes away.  I would never know!

I wonder, what are appropriate actions to report health code violations like this one?  I also noticed that many people who like to bring their pet with them at all times are unaware of disturbing or endangering others.  A pet in a public place is often a hygienic concern or could cause allergic reactions.  What is a good way to bring awareness to the issue?

♡ Nina




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  Social Adversity of an Allergic Asthmatic #1    



Disclaimer:  Thank you to everyone who takes the time out to read the things I have to say.  I'm not an expert or professional!  My advice is genuine and based on my own experience as a severely allergic asthmatic.  I am hoping my writing can suggest reasonable solutions to anyone that may need it and maybe bring awareness to those interested in the topic.  Thank you!

Psychological Effects of Asthma

Each person’s experience with asthma is different but many asthmatics commonly experience feelings of social stigma, embarrassment, blame and self-blame. 

This idea isn’t news to me but recent events brought the topic fresh into my mind.  A few days ago, I had what I like to call an “asthma fail.”  That is to say, I failed to judge my environment properly and I failed to take appropriate self-care.  (The details:  I visited a museum that explicitly stated it did not allow dogs and I went out to lunch with my family without going through my excessive decontamination practices.  I only washed my hands and face before changing into freshly laundered clothing when I returned home.)  I paid for such reckless neglect with a full-blown asthma attack in the wee hours of the night.

WHAT?  Even as I am writing this down now, I am shocked by my rational.  It’s not healthy to think this way!  Sure, my asthma attack was a consequence of my actions but I certainly do not deserve to suffer.

At the time of my asthma attack, I was embarrassed and furious at myself and my body.  I was mad, disconnected from whom I am, physically exhausted and emotionally tapped out.  I kept saying “This is not fair!” and referred to “my misbehaving body” in the third person: “You’re lucky it’s not 2050 because I would so leave you behind and move on without you!”  It wasn’t a pretty sight and it was hours filled with self-loathing, blame and embarrassment.

On a happier note, I did eventually snap out of it.  And it is good to find and restore your humility after feeling so gutted.



I recommend reading The Secret’s meditation on health. It is beautiful and sad to read, especially after recent experience of great pain, fear of death and bouts of self-loathing.

S O C I A L   S T I G M A   +   E M B A R R A S S M E N T

I feel nervous to talk about the psychological effects of allergic asthma as it is a sensitive topic and because I can only speak of my own experiences.  I stared this blog partly because I am tired of having to hide the reality of living and coping with asthma and because it is often difficult and embarrassing to talk about it.  

Most obviously, my often poor physical state, vulnerability and helplessness are topics embarrassing to discuss.  Simple inquisitive statements like “tell me about your attack” and well meaning “I hope you figure your asthma out soon and get well” are conversation starters more loaded than you expect them to be.  Misunderstandings, misconceptions, gaps of asthma specific knowledge and the differences between the realities of asthmatics and non-asthmatics can be alienating.  Asthma is a serious disease, but few people can truly understand how dangerous it can be.  For example, it is easy to underestimate allergic asthma when thinking allergies equals sniffles and itchiness instead of causing life-threatening symptoms that need medical attention.

For some people it is even difficult to believe you’re ill if there is nothing much to be seen.  “How does it hurt as much as you say it does…you don’t look too bad?”  “Why can’t you do or take something for it and move on with your life?”  People who have seen me have an asthma attack or taken off in an ambulance tend to be much more understanding than those who haven’t.  Yet, my yearning for inclusion, understanding and sometimes empathy doesn’t mean I am going to have a show-and-tell for everyone.  I would like to preserve some of my dignity.  Not breathing is a strange pain and sadly, it is more painful than you expect it to be.

In addition, the dependency on medication is embarrassing and sometimes even controversial.  Sure, it is off-putting for me to take an inhaler and medication in public or in front of people.  However, to my surprise, having to rely on medication this urgently is shocking to most people.  It does not help to be criticized for drugs you take in an emergency or drugs necessary to manage asthma.  Medication drugs are often harshly criticized for the negative impact they have on the body even though those same drugs are critical to the asthmatics well-being and survival.  On the other hand, taking a stand against traditional medicine and drugs is equally controversial.  Ultimately, anyone with an opinion might blame you for taking medication or they might blame you if you don’t.   

F E E L I N G S   O F   B L A M E   +   G U I L T 

I just recently started to admit to having allergic asthma (to dogs, easily most people’s favorite animal) to anyone who’ll listen.  I am no longer ashamed to speak my mind but it is also not an easy topic to discuss.

Asthma is difficult to discuss because it is a variable condition that affects everyone differently and everyone deals with it differently, too.  For this reason, your friends, family, your partner, work colleagues or boss may have a lot of questions or opinions about your asthma prompted by genuine concern, puzzlement or even sheer curiosity.  It can be frustrating, humiliating and hurtful when you have to explain yourself.  My body and my health are deeply personal to me and it is not something I’d like to discuss with just anyone.  It's your choice who you choose to tell and how much detail you want to offer.  There is no point to explain your medical history to someone who’s strongly opinionated and pessimistic.  However, most people are well-meaning and like to help as best they can; often offering “cures” that worked in their life: their trusted doctor, chiropractor, holistic treatment or special dietary regiment.  Explaining myself further and disagreeing to try their suggestions burdens me to think I deserve to suffer because I don’t listen.  Did someone just offer me a solution that would make all my allergy and asthma symptoms disappear and I am perversely not taking it?

Apart from explaining my asthma and justifying my coping and treatment mechanisms, I also struggle with a variety of difficult questions on a regular basis.  Who is to blame?  And what’s the cause (of asthma)?  Even speculations on the matter could be tremendously difficult and hurtful (to the asthmatic, relatives and friends). 

W H O   I S   T O   B L A M E ?

The asthmatic?  The environment?  Family and friends?  The doctor? 

Logically, the blame falls mostly onto the one who’s ill.  Caught up in this game of finding blame, this person might then go pointing fingers elsewhere.  Admittedly, I tend to snap when I’m caught in my less graceful moments.  I understand it’s not beneficial to have an elevator pitch for my asthma with its main point saying “back off,” however; dropping the conversation is often favorable to swallowing ignorance, blame and accusations.  These are the things I never say:

“I suppose it’s my fault that (insert hurtful personal incident/resentment here) and now I’m inconvenience everyone by being ill.  Sorry to bother you!  I suppose you’re right, I just haven’t seen the right doctor yet.  The one with the miracle drug that will cure me with the special thing he does.  I guess I just haven’t thought more than three minutes about it!  …  Are you kidding me?  I had allergic asthma since childhood and it is not news to me like it is to you…”

My point is none of the blame and accusations help anyone feel better.  Proper insight into the reality of an asthmatic might undo the unnecessary psychological burdens that come with asthma.  Minimizing the psychological effects is necessary for physical well-being and happy relationships.  None of which can be achieved by keeping asthma a secret or with an elevator pitch that pushes people away.  Likewise, opening up to anyone with an opinion on asthma can be stressful and frustrating.  To the asthmatic I’d say: be kind and tactfully avoid an argument.  To the non-asthmatic I’d say: be kind because anyone who is unwell needs forces of healing, instead of alienation, pessimism or blame.

♡ Nina

Disclaimer:

Thank you to everyone who takes the time out to read the things I have to say.  I am not an expert or professional!   My advice is genuine and based on my own experience as a severely allergic asthmatic.   I am hoping my writing can suggest reasonable solutions to anyone that may need it and maybe bring awareness to those interested in the topic.

Social Adversity of an Allergic Asthmatic

Yesterday, my husband declared, “we’re going grocery shopping when I get home from work!”  The announcement felt like a threat.  What now, am I afraid to leave the house?  I am.  And I am definitely afraid to go grocery shopping.  In the end, I decided to forgo all dangers and waited in the car while my husband went shopping.

I am not brave enough to step outside my safety bubble.  If I am not careful, I keep getting exposed to dogs!  People bring their pets everywhere these days, especially grocery stores. Growing up I remember businesses had a place to leash up your pet with bowls of fresh water.  I suppose nowadays my husband can leash me up out front.

On a happier note, I can report I’ve been outside my apartment on occasion and I have interacted with people face to face other than my husband.  On the other hand, I planned these outing well in advance and I calculated all potential environmental risks.  So, no, I haven't really been part of life and I have been hiding.  The good news is though that I have been healthy and non-medicated since last year—that is almost three weeks and I am thrilled about it!
But I am also scared!

I don’t want to be sick again!  I want to avoid allergic reactions so that my body can recover from its chronic inflammatory state.  I also fear the pain and helplessness of not breathing.  Now that I feel well, I can’t bare the thought of experiences so much pain and worrying about suffocation.  I don’t want exposure to potential health hazards.  But, I also want to be part of life again.  Oh my!
So, it’s baby steps for me.

Keep moving forward,
♡ Nina

How to Rid your Home of Asthma Triggers?

While it is important to take precautionary measures to achieve effective allergen control regimes, we must acknowledge that no measure provides absolute protection.  Even with avoidance and precautionary measures, it is often difficult to guard yourself completely from allergens.  As an allergic asthmatic, I'm still convinced that knowledge is not only the best defense but also the best weapon.  Therefore, I need to know what I can do to prevent an asthma attack, but more importantly, I need to know exactly what to do when I'm having an attack and allergens are all around me. 
I'm not a helpless flower, trying to bloom despite pollutants until I suffocate.  I'm a person and I'm capable of changing my environment!  I just need to know how.

For an allergic asthmatic, it is vital to be wary about anywhere you visit because allergens are present in many public places in the community, including the library, grocery stores, restaurants and shops.  Pet allergens of cats and dogs have the added disadvantage of having aerodynamic characteristics.  This means that allergens stay airborne for a long time (up to five months) and land on clothing, skin and hair as they circulate the air.  Passively, your skin and hair, the clothing you wear and the bottom of your shoes transfer allergens into your home.  Even if there is no immediate response to allergens, small traces of allergens can with time and prolonged exposure, trigger a reaction.

In “The Decontamination Action Plan,” I stressed the importance of taking active measures to rid yourself of allergens as soon as you get home.  It is important that you maintain your home as an area in which you can feel safe.

However, since the presence of allergens is not always apparent, I too have been guilty of neglecting my own advice: “Do not collapse in your home, sit or lay down as you will only bring in and spread what makes you sick!”  Sadly, I paid for it with prolonged suffering and spreading allergens throughout my living space.
I should have known better!
I should have showered and changed my clothing.
Why didn’t I?
What made me think I was safe?
Was I overconfident or simply too tired or lazy?  

Now what?  What immediate actions can I take to help myself (apart from taking asthma and allergy medication)?  While I don’t think the following steps can and should replace conventional rescue medications, the immediate elimination of irritants from your environment will speed up the recovery and will prevent further symptoms from the same lingering allergens.

Step 1:  How to decontaminate in an emergency?

Generally, decontamination of any kind is not a pretty process because the person doing it is in the midst of an asthma attack.  

Medications, including rescue inhalers will take a few minutes (up to 15-20min) before they take effect and the discomfort and pain might feel too overwhelming to act.  All the while, allergens are on the asthmatic, the air has distributed and spread trace allergens in the home that will continue to trigger an allergic reaction.  The logical conclusion is to clean and eliminate all irritants immediately.  Depending on your situation, you might be able to do your entire home, but if not, you could spot clean a room, close doors and so create a safe zone until you feel better.  

Tip: A small bedroom or a bathroom is the least challenging room to manipulate.  The following advice will help you create a safe zone by eliminating allergens from yourself and your immediate surroundings.  

1)  Try to locate the source?  If you find it, clean it or remove it from your room.  It is best to seal any questionable items into a plastic trash bag and close it tightly until you're ready to deal with them.  Allergens could linger on the clothing you wore, shoes, a handbag, backpack, or any item you recently brought into your home.

2)  Open windows to let in fresh air.  In addition, air filtration with an air purifier is beneficial.

3)  Wash and/or change your bedding and linen.  Everything besides the mattress itself should be laundered:  Sheets, pillowcases, duvet covers, bedspread, blankets, bed skirt, mattress covers, etc.  If necessary, bag all fabrics into a sealable plastic trash bag until you feel well enough to clean them.

4)  Remove all soft surface items from the room, including stuffed animals, decorative pillows and laundry that’s not been put away.  Again, bagging is a great option to contain allergens and remove them from your room.

5)  Finally, shower, wash your hair and put on freshly laundered clothing.  I also recommend brushing your teeth and using a nasal spray.

Step 2:  How to thoroughly decontaminate your surroundings?

6)   The first step is to open windows to create airflow.

7)   Dust and clean all surfaces.  Try to avoid harsh chemical cleansers and use hot soapy water instead.  Also, when in doubt, ditch the vacuum cleaner and mop floors instead, wear a mask while cleaning or ask someone else to clean for you.

8)   Wash and clean all fabrics in your home.  Well, everything that’s lying out and met allergens because there is no need to pull everything you own out of your dresser and closet.  If you are unable to wash an item and it is small enough, the dryer can burn allergens off within a few minutes. 

9)   The next step is to mist large fabric furniture or soft surfaces like drapes, sofa pillows and carpets with cleaner containing Ammonia (Windex) or with allergen reducer (Febreze Allergen Reducer) to help reduce airborne allergens.  An unpopular piece of advice from me:  Try to scrutinize all large soft items in your home that are inconvenient or impossible to machine wash and consider if you could do without them for the sake of your health.  Unfortunately, these pieces are reservoirs of allergens and a major management problem.

10) When everything is clean, make sure you shower and put on freshly laundered clothes.

Disclaimer:  I'm not an expert or professional!  My advice comes from a good place and is based on my own experience as a severely allergic asthmatic.  I'm hoping my writing can suggest reasonable solutions to anyone that may need it and maybe bring awareness to those interested in the topic.

♡ Nina

Decontamination Action Plan

The following steps to decontaminate ones surroundings are for individuals with severe allergic asthma; however, it might also be useful for anyone with an allergy.  Now, I understand there is a flood of information online that informs the reader of ways to reduce indoor allergens at home.  Most articles take a mitigating approach that offer suggestions to reduce pet allergens suitable for individuals living with or wanting to live with a pet.  Sadly, that makes these articles inadequately useful for myself and anyone with severe or life-threatening allergies.  

I'm an asthmatic and severely allergic to dogs.  This means that any lengths of time spend around dogs or being in enclosed areas in which dogs have previously been will result in an asthma attack.  Articles that suggest I don't let the family dog sleep at the foot of my bed are of no use to someone like me.

The following recommendations are based on my experiences, it is for when aero-allergen avoidance measures fail and I'm exposed to allergens.  

H O W   T O   H E L P   Y O U R S E L F ?

1. Go home!  Seriously, go home when breathing issues start.  No matter what the situation, please don’t hesitate to leave when you have to.  Do not compromise your health and do not medicate yourself just to make a social situation happen.  Furthermore, do not try to tough it out until you can't hide or take your symptoms any longer.
2. When you get home, strip out of your clothing immediately, no matter how exhausted or unwell you feel.  Do not sit or lay down in your home, as this will only spread the allergens.  Decontaminating your entire living space is much more difficult to do in the midst of an asthma attack.  I will talk about that in part 2 (How to Rid Your Home of Asthma Triggers).  
3. Immediately contain all contaminates.  Machine-wash all your clothing (and wipe down your shoes and accessories).  Alternatively, you can stuff your garments into a plastic trash bag and close it tightly until you're ready to deal with them.  It's best to keep the bag of contaminants outside or in a room you won't use (with the door closed).
4. Finally, shower and thoroughly clean your body and hair.

These precautions sound a bit obsessive, but they do help to alleviate my symptoms faster and sometimes, if I'm lucky, they can stop an asthma attack before it gets started. 

♡  Nina